Watch Transmorphers Online (2017)

The 6 Worst Movies Hollywood Almost Made. Stray Dawgz (2. 00. Starring Ice Cube. You know what's cool?

Rappers. Also, movies about big hairy monsters that eat people. And if your film's plot is "it's basically Blade, only with werewolves instead of vampires," a big chunk of the geek community would line up outside the theater on opening night. Probably. What Went Wrong? Watch Krisha Download more.

You know how NASA occasionally comes out and announces an asteroid nearly missed Earth? This is like that. MegaFault is a 2009 television disaster film by The Asylum, directed by David Michael Latt, starring Brittany Murphy, Justin Hartley, Eriq Lasalle, Tamala Jones, Paul.

To start with, it was going to be about Ice Cube fighting a "new breed" of werewolf. Said "new breed" was the brainchild of screenwriter Darryl Quarles (Big Momma's House, Black Knight), which we assume means that these new werewolves could be distinguished from the old breed of werewolves by virtue of their being completely fucking retarded. Watch Fitzcarraldo Online Fitzcarraldo Full Movie Online. And possibly in fat suits.

Watch Transmorphers Online (2017)

Actual photo from the film. This was scheduled to be Ice Cube's follow- up to John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars. You can probably see where this is going.↓Continue Reading Below. What Went Right? John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars, and probably Black Knight. We're talking about career killers, here. Ice Cube managed to escape from Ghosts of Mars with his film career (if not his dignity) intact, but we doubt that anybody was looking to put him in another action- horror picture. And Black Knight made damn sure that Darryl Quarles never had another movie deal ever again.

Mega Shark Versus Mecha Shark is a 2014 direct-to-video monster/disaster film produced by the Asylum. It was released on DVD and Blu-ray Disc on January 28, 2014.

According to an Esquire interview, director Gregory Dark (See No Evil, Hootermania) was still trying to get this project off the ground in 2. New Line Pictures, in their own subtle way, told him to go fuck himself. What You Can Watch Instead: Werewolf in a Women's Prison: We haven't seen it yet, but it looks like a modern classic. The Nightmare of Edgar Allan Poe (2. Starring Michael Jackson.

Edgar Allan Poe's gloomy ass pretty much invented American horror. His life story is filled with the kind of drunken, drug- crazed insanity that was made for the cinema. Sure, most of that craziness was completely made up by one Rufus Wilmot Griswold (Poe's bitter enemy in life and official biographer in death), but that's no reason to let the truth spoil a kick- ass story.↓Continue Reading Below. What Went Wrong? This might surprise you, but we're actually not going to talk any shit about the talk of casting Michael Jackson. It's a horror project and Michael Jackson is fucking terrifying. It's like chocolate and peanut butter meeting up for the first time or something. Whatever you do, don't imagine those two fucking.

Watch Transmorphers Online (2017)

So, what could go wrong? Well, they could have hired William Malone (Fear Dot Com, Creature) to direct. They could have gotten the script from some guy named Philip Levins (nine episodes of Smallville, including one where, we are not fucking kidding, Superman's dad is wrongly accused of shooting Lex Luthor's dad, which we guess must be what started that whole crazy feud between the two of them). That's exactly what they did. This would have been pretty much the worst horror movie ever. What Went Right? Michael Jackson, probably.

Jackson had kind of a string of these canceled projects. Over the years, there were plans for him to play the lead in a musical version of Peter Pan, a film version of the Phantom of the Opera musical, and some kind of werewolf movie that may or may not have been a musical.↓Continue Reading Below. Now, we can't say for sure what it was that killed these projects, but imagine that you're in a meeting with the King of Pop, ironing out the details of a major film. How long do you think it would take for you to realize that "meeting" is just a euphemism for "I'm trapped in this room with a fucking lunatic?" Until he started humping your leg? A few minutes after that, maybe? What You Can Watch Instead: We'd love to say that it's the biopic Poe, written and directed by Sylvester Stallone and starring Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings, but that one hasn't been shot yet, and we can't help thinking that the project is destined to show up in a list not unlike this one some day.

No, instead, we've got some dippy direct- to- video thing called The Death of Poe: If you enjoyed that, you'll probably like Steve's article about The 5 Kick Ass Action Movies That Are Pure Propaganda. And speaking of things that kick ass, Uncle Terry has some sex advice for you. Or show us what the 0.

Watch Transmorphers Online (2017)

Forum Photoshop contest. And be sure to get the Cracked Hit List delivered in your electronic mailbox every Thursday.

  1. Revenge thrillers, action sequels and flying kicks from Scott Adkins and Michael Jai White. It's 25 straight-to-DVD movies worth your time.
  2. Preston Vanderslice, Actor: Arrow. Preston Vanderslice was born on November 7, 1985 in Dallas, Texas, USA as Preston C. Vanderslice. He is an actor, known for Arrow.
  3. Read the latest news and updates on your favorite movies, tv shows & stars. Moviefone is your source for entertainment, movie, DVD, online streaming & TV news.
  4. Shane Van Dyke, Writer: Chernobyl Diaries. Shane Van Dyke was born on August 28, 1979 in Los Angeles, California, USA as Shane Thomas Van Dyke. He is an actor and.

Test your knowledge with amazing and interesting facts, trivia, quizzes, and brain teaser games on MentalFloss.com.